oracle of sages ⊹˚₊‧ ˖ ܁

I've Had a Really Bad Day

I would say I'm a reasonably superstitious person, whatever that means. Don't put shoes on the table, don't walk under a ladder, always salute a lone magpie.

My partner is away on a short trip this weekend, and the entire week leading up to it I had this horrible feeling that there was going to be some sort car accident. I begged and begged her to be careful on her way up, and made her promise she would come back to me in one piece.

Well I was correct.

Except I was the one in the accident.

I am not going to say any more because I don't want to mess up any legal nonsense? I don't really know what is and isn't okay to talk about. In all my 10 years of driving I have never once been in an accident where I was the one driving. What I will say is that no one got hurt, I'm at home, and it wasn't caused by anything I did or didn't do. It was entirely out of anyone's control.

I'm so frustrated. My car is on a finance agreement and I only have 2 years left. It's the first car I have ever been able to purchase myself. I love that thing so god damn much and seeing her (yes, her) beat up the way she was upset me so much. I don't know if she's salvageable, the insurance rep kept saying it sounds like a write off. I really hope that isn't the case.

Fucking universe.

I've been trying to distract myself ever since I was dropped off back home, but my mind just keeps churning around in this heavy anxious circle. I feel nauseous, tired, and my head is agonisingly tense. I don't think those symptoms are related to any sort of injury, but I am aware they could be so I'm trying to monitor myself as best I can. I have something playing on the TV but I couldn't tell you what has been happening for the past 4 hours. I just turned it on so the house wasn't so horribly silent. Everything just feels like I'm in a dream at the moment. I guess that's still the shock? No idea.

I'm going to do my best to keep myself occupied while also doing as little physical movement as possible for now, and hopefully I don't wake up worse for wear tomorrow.

If you have any, ideas on how to keep my brain busy would be incredibly appreciated.

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#oracle